with your own penis?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
