I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
