We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
