Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
