we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize