i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
