dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
