Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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