WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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