white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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