This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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