whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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