wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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