I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
