so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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