butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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