I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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