do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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