I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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