i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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