We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
