New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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