he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
