guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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