i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't deserve a penis
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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