I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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