Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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