Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
