dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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