At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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