i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
