Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
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She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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