wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Omg I joined a choir last night...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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