Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
