hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know her cup size but not her name....
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