exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
