what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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