Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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