now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
