false alarm. still invincible.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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