yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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