I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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