i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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