If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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