I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish my penis had a tongue
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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