I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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