I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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