HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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