i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
