Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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