You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
