walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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