brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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