I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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