Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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