with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
