Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
