even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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