Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
