Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
