D3 body, D1 cock
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
