My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
