Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dicks are not precious.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
