you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Im part way to drunk.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
