We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
