just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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