Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In other news, I just burned my penis
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
