I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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