69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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